I'm the kid you asked to join your 4-H club last year.  I'm the kid who was so enthused about a chance to be a 4-H member that I could hardly wait for the first meeting, so that I could stand up in front of all of you and promise to be a good 4-H member.  Signing the constitution and repeating the club pledge were about the most important happenings in my life last year.

I came to every meeting after I was initiated, sometimes getting there before anyone else so I wouldn't miss anything.  It didn't seem like anyone wanted to pay attention to me though, even when I tried to be friendly with other kids.  Being friendly has always been hard for me because I'm naturally shy.  My mom said 4-H would be good for me because I would be sure to make friends there.  I sat down along with some of the kids I knew from the school bus, but they all had their buddies that they talked to, even when I volunteered some conversation.  After that it was just easier to find a seat among unfamiliar faces.

I hoped very much that a leader or an officer would ask me to participate or take charge of something or do some task like helping to serve refreshments, but on one asked me.  I wanted very much to do something to help out, so that I could show I was proud of being a 4-H member.  But no one saw my hand when I volunteered.

When I had to miss a meeting, the first since joining, it was because Mom was sick and dad doesn't get home from work until midnight, so I stayed home with her.  But no one asked me at the next meeting where I was and how come I hadn't been there.  I guess it really didn't matter very much to the others whether I was there or not.  It was about this time that I began to wonder if it was really that big a deal to be a 4-H member.

It amuses me now when I think back on the discussion in the club one evening shortly after I had become a 4-H member.  The officers and leaders were talking about why the club seemed to be losing members, and what they could do about it.  They spent an hour talking about how to get new members, when we could have been having some recreation - and I was there all the time.  All they had to do was make me feel needed, wanted and welcomed.

I don't like to think of myself as a loser, but I must have lost a great deal by not having a 4-H experience - and perhaps the 4-H club lost too, by not accepting what I had to offer.

I'm the statistic that says "4-H had nothing for me, so I dropped out", but it really isn't true.  I was never really a member - and isn't it a shame, because that's what I wanted so much to be.